Chapter 26 — Giving and Receiving Advice

Advice is one of the most common speech acts in any language. People ask what they should do, suggest courses of action, share their habits, warn against mistakes, and request that others stop doing something. Japanese has specific grammar for each of these situations, and the patterns in this chapter will give you the tools to handle all of them.

Several of these patterns build on conditional forms you learned in Chapter 10 — specifically たら and ば. If those forms are not yet automatic, review Chapter 10 before continuing. The advice patterns here depend on producing conditionals quickly and accurately.

This chapter also introduces ～ないで and ～なくて, two negative て-form constructions that look similar but function differently. Understanding the distinction between them is important for both comprehension and production.

26.1 ～たらいい / ～ばいい — "It Would Be Good If"

These two patterns express advice or suggestions: "it would be good if you did X" or "you should do X." Both use a conditional form followed by いい.

～たらいい

Formation: た-form + ら + いい

もっと　早く　起きたら　いいですよ。 "You should wake up earlier." (It would be good if you woke up earlier.)

疲れたら、少し　休んだら　いいです。 "If you're tired, you should rest a bit."

わからなかったら、先生に　聞いたら　いいですよ。 "If you don't understand, you should ask the teacher."

～ばいい

Formation: ば-conditional + いい

もっと　早く　起きれば　いいですよ。 "You should wake up earlier."

日本語が　上手に　なりたければ、毎日　練習すれば　いい。 "If you want to get good at Japanese, you should practice every day."

駅まで　バスに　乗れば　いいですよ。 "You should take the bus to the station."

たらいい vs ばいい

The difference is subtle. Both give advice. In most situations, they are interchangeable.

In practice, most Japanese speakers use them interchangeably when giving advice. たらいい is somewhat more common in casual conversation.

どうしたらいいですか / どうすればいいですか

These are the standard ways to ask "What should I do?"

パスポートを　なくしました。どう　したら　いいですか。 "I lost my passport. What should I do?"

日本語が　上手に　なりたいです。何を　すれば　いいですか。 "I want to get good at Japanese. What should I do?"

この　機械は　どう　使ったら　いいですか。 "How should I use this machine?"

Both forms are natural in this question pattern. どうしたらいいですか is slightly more common in everyday speech.

Variations in politeness

The level of politeness depends on what follows いい:

薬を　飲んだら　いいと　思いますよ。 "I think you should take some medicine." (Softened advice)

26.2 ～たらどう — Casual Advice Suggestion

たらどう is a more casual way to make a suggestion. It is short for ～たらどうですか, which itself is a shortened form of ～たらどうでしょうか.

Formation

た-form + ら + どう（ですか）

Examples

一度　医者に　行ったら　どう？ "Why don't you go see a doctor?" (Casual)

日本語で　日記を　書いて　みたら　どうですか。 "Why don't you try writing a diary in Japanese?" (Polite)

少し　休んだら　どう？ "Why don't you take a break?"

直接　聞いて　みたら　どうですか。 "Why don't you try asking directly?"

もっと　早く　家を　出たら　どう？ "Why don't you leave the house earlier?"

The tone of たらどう

たらどう is friendly and casual. It is the kind of suggestion you make to a friend or a peer. It is not appropriate for giving advice to a superior — for that, ～たらいいと思います or ～ばいいのではないでしょうか would be more suitable.

In very casual speech, the どう can carry a slightly pushy or exasperated tone, depending on context:

いいかげんに　勉強したら　どう？ "Why don't you study already?" (Implies: you really should)

This is not rude between close friends, but it carries more force than the neutral examples above.

26.3 ～ことにしている — Habitual Practice

You learned ことにする ("decide to do") in Chapter 12. The ている form — ことにしている — expresses a habitual practice or personal rule that the speaker has decided to maintain.

Formation

Plain form (non-past) + ことにしている

Examples

毎朝　六時に　起きる　ことに　しています。 "I make it a practice to wake up at six every morning."

寝る　前に　かならず　歯を　磨く　ことに　している。 "I always make sure to brush my teeth before bed."

甘い　ものを　食べない　ことに　している。 "I make it a rule not to eat sweets."

毎日　三十分　散歩する　ことに　しています。 "I make it a practice to take a thirty-minute walk every day."

お酒は　飲まない　ことに　している。 "I make it a rule not to drink alcohol."

The nuance of ことにしている

ことにしている emphasizes that this is a conscious, deliberate choice that the speaker actively maintains. It is not just something that happens — it is something the speaker decided and continues to uphold.

Compare:

毎朝　走っている。 "I run every morning." (Statement of habit)

毎朝　走る　ことに　している。 "I make it a practice to run every morning." (Deliberate personal rule)

The second version conveys discipline and intentionality. It is particularly common when talking about health habits, personal rules, and lifestyle choices.

Negative habits

The negative form — ～ないことにしている — expresses things you deliberately avoid.

夜　十時　以降は　コーヒーを　飲まない　ことに　している。 "I make it a rule not to drink coffee after 10 PM."

仕事の　メールは　週末に　見ない　ことに　している。 "I make it a rule not to check work emails on weekends."

26.4 ～ないで / ～なくて — "Without Doing"

Both of these are negative て-form constructions, but they have different functions. Confusing them is a common error, so understanding the distinction is important.

～ないで — "without doing" (accompanying action)

ないで describes performing the main action without doing the action in the ないで clause. The two actions involve the same subject.

Formation: ない-form, replace final い with で.

朝ごはんを　食べないで　出かけた。 "I went out without eating breakfast."

辞書を　使わないで　読んで　みてください。 "Please try reading without using a dictionary."

何も　言わないで　帰った。 "He left without saying anything."

傘を　持たないで　出かけたら、雨に　降られた。 "I went out without an umbrella and got rained on."

電気を　消さないで　寝て　しまった。 "I fell asleep without turning off the lights."

～なくて — "because of not doing" (cause/reason)

なくて gives a reason or cause. It explains why something happened (or didn't happen) by citing the absence of an action or state.

Formation: ない-form, replace final い with くて. (This is the same て-form conjugation as any い-adjective.)

時間が　なくて、行けなかった。 "I didn't have time, so I couldn't go." (Reason)

日本語が　わからなくて、困った。 "I didn't understand Japanese, so I was in trouble." (Reason)

友だちが　来なくて、さびしかった。 "My friend didn't come, so I was lonely." (Reason)

薬を　飲まなくて、熱が　下がらなかった。 "I didn't take medicine, so my fever didn't go down." (Reason)

The critical difference

Compare these two:

朝ごはんを　食べないで　学校に　行った。 "I went to school without eating breakfast." (I went — and I hadn't eaten.)

朝ごはんを　食べなくて、元気が　出なかった。 "Because I didn't eat breakfast, I had no energy." (Cause and effect)

The first describes what someone did (went to school) and what they did not do simultaneously (eat breakfast). The second explains why something happened (no energy) by citing what did not happen (no breakfast).

When both seem possible

Sometimes both structures could technically work, but the meaning shifts:

薬を　飲まないで、寝た。 "I went to sleep without taking medicine." (I just went to sleep; I didn't take the medicine)

薬を　飲まなくて、熱が　下がらなかった。 "Because I didn't take medicine, my fever didn't go down." (Cause and effect)

If you are describing an accompanying action (or lack thereof), use ないで. If you are giving a reason, use なくて.

26.5 ～ないでください — "Please Don't"

This is the negative request form — asking someone not to do something. You have likely encountered it already in signs and instructions. Now we formalize it.

Formation

ないで + ください

ここで　写真を　撮らないで　ください。 "Please don't take photos here."

大きい　声で　話さないで　ください。 "Please don't speak in a loud voice."

まだ　帰らないで　ください。 "Please don't go home yet."

この　ことは　だれにも　言わないで　ください。 "Please don't tell anyone about this."

心配しないで　ください。 "Please don't worry."

Casual form: ～ないで

In casual speech, ください is dropped, and ないで alone functions as a request.

行かないで。 "Don't go." (Casual, sometimes emotional)

忘れないでね。 "Don't forget, okay?"

そんなこと　言わないで。 "Don't say things like that."

～ないでください vs ～てはいけません

Both express prohibition, but the tone is different.

ここで　食べないで　ください。 "Please don't eat here." (Polite request)

ここで　食べては　いけません。 "You must not eat here." (Rule)

ないでください is appropriate for making personal requests. てはいけません states a rule or regulation. On signs, you will see both, sometimes combined with other prohibition patterns (禁止, おことわりします, ご遠慮ください).

26.6 Reading Passage

次の　文は、インターネットの　そうだんサイトに　書かれた　しつもんと　回答です。

しつもん：

大学生です。最近、夜　なかなか　眠れなくて、朝も　起きられなくて　困っています。授業に　遅刻する　ことが　多くなりました。友だちに　そうだんしたら、「早く　寝れば　いいじゃない」と　言われましたが、早く　ベッドに　入っても、ぜんぜん　眠れないんです。どう　したら　いいでしょうか。

回答１：

わたしも　前に　同じ　けいけんが　ありました。寝る　前に　スマホを　見ないで　ください。画面の　光が　よくないそうです。わたしは　寝る　一時間　前に　スマホを　見ない　ことに　しています。それに、毎日　同じ　時間に　起きる　ことに　しています。休みの　日も　同じ　時間に　起きれば、体の　リズムが　よくなりますよ。

回答２：

一度、病院に　行って　みたら　どうですか。なかなか　眠れないのは、ストレスが　原因かもしれません。わたしの　友だちも　同じ　問題が　あって、医者に　そうだんしたら、いい　アドバイスを　もらえたと　言っていました。あまり　一人で　なやまないで、だれかに　そうだんした　ほうが　いいと　思います。コーヒーや　お茶を　飲みすぎていませんか。午後は　カフェインを　とらない　ことに　したら　いいかもしれません。

Translation:

The following is a question and answers written on an internet advice forum.

Question:

I'm a university student. Recently, I've been having trouble falling asleep at night and can't wake up in the morning, and it's causing me problems. I've been late to class a lot more often. When I talked to a friend about it, they said, "Just go to bed earlier," but even when I get into bed early, I can't sleep at all. What should I do?

Answer 1:

I had the same experience before. Please don't look at your phone before bed. Apparently the light from the screen is bad for you. I make it a rule not to look at my phone one hour before bed. Also, I make it a practice to wake up at the same time every day. If you wake up at the same time even on days off, your body's rhythm will improve.

Answer 2:

Why don't you try going to a hospital once? Not being able to sleep might be caused by stress. A friend of mine had the same problem, and they said that when they consulted a doctor, they got good advice. Don't worry about it alone — I think it's better to talk to someone. Are you perhaps drinking too much coffee or tea? It might be good to make a rule of not having caffeine in the afternoon.

26.7 Vocabulary List